


The Love Boat

by genericfanatic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Shallura if you squint, broganes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 20:19:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10884219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Shiro is being overbearing, so Keith decides to fake a marriage to a boy he meets on a cruise ship.





	The Love Boat

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a tumblr post that I CAN'T FIND so if someone knows what it is, let me know and I'll edit it in.

“Shiro…”

“Don’t give me that tone.”

“Shiro.”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“Shiro!” 

“What?” Shiro said, looking for a parking spot.

“You’re being overdramatic.” Keith said, taking his feet off the dashboard as they parked.

Shiro sighed dramatically, getting out of the car, “I am not being overdramatic!” He said.

“Not to mention overprotective.” Keith said. 

“I am your legal guardian,” Shiro said, “it’s my job to protect you.”

“Protect, yes,” Keith said, “Overprotect, no.” Shiro huffed. “Besides, I’m 18, so technically you’re not my guardian anymore.”

“Um, excuse me,” he said, “Who’s house do you live in? Who is taking you on an awesome summer vacation as a reward for graduating high school?”

“You won the tickets in an office lottery, stop acting like it was some grand gesture.” Keith said, tugging his suitcase out of the car’s trunk, allowing Shiro’s to fall on the road.

Shiro grimaced at him. “You’re an ungrateful brat, you know that?”

“If I didn’t, I’d have your daily reminders to let me know.”

Shiro mumbled something surely crass under his breath as he picked up his own luggage. “Come on, lets get to the dock before they decide they don’t want to be stuck on a boat with your mouth.” Keith rolled his eyes, but followed him. “As it happens, sure, I won the tickets for free, but I’m taking you! I could have taken some hot little piece.” 

“Ha!” Keith barked out, “Name one person you could have asked that you wouldn’t have completely crumbled in front of from embarrassment.” 

Shiro gaped at him for a second. “I…I could have asked Commander Holt…” Shiro muttered.

“Oh yeah,” Keith said, “The 55 year old married guy with two kids. Such a hot little piece.” Shiro wacked Keith upside his head. “Besides, for your information, I AM a hot little piece.”

“Which reminds me,” Shiro said, “When you’re at college, you may feel more pressure to have sex. You don’t—“

“Oh my GOD,” Keith said, rushing ahead, “I hope the boat leaves you behind.”

“I have your ticket,” Shiro called after him, but Keith paid no mind, marching through the throng of people to get to the U.S.S. Voltron. “Ungrateful brat…”

 

The truth was, Keith was terrified about college. He had been somewhat dependent on his half-brother even before his parents had died and Shiro adopted him. This was the first time he was going to be separated from him for longer than a few days. 

All Shiro’s poking and prodding and smothering was only making Keith MORE nervous, though. You’d think Shiro was releasing him into the wild with the way he talked about everything to ‘prepare’ him. 

Okay…granted Keith wasn’t the one most known for his impulse control. And…well…Shiro might have had reason to be concerned, based off his high school record (if it wasn’t for Shiro stepping in, he’d have been kicked out more than once.) But he was older now! More mature! He was perfectly capable of handling himself.

And of course, to prove he was more mature and capable, he wanted to play a prank on his dear older brother to pay him back for the pain and misery he was causing him. The logic worked out, don’t worry about it. 

He thought about it, looking over the side of the boat in the little alone time he had away from Shiro. What to do, what to do…he could jump off the boat and fake his own drowning. That seemed a touch extreme. He could get into a fight with someone…that might get him arrested, though. Again. Long story, don’t ask. 

Unfortunately he was gay, so Shiro wasn’t going to believe it if he said he knocked up a girl…but at least his ideas were starting to get more innocent and less self-destructive…there had to be something along those lines…

“Hey sailor,” A voice behind him snapped him out of his reverie. He turned to see a handsome brown boy, about his age, wearing complete tourist™ gear and a cocky smile, “You like water, huh? That means you already like 75% of me.”

Keith blinked at him. Was this guy for real? He didn’t seem to be joking, smiling behind his sunglasses, every inch appearing a total douchebag. “You’re perfect…” He muttered.

That seemed to surprise the smile right off of the boy, “Uhh…well, thank you…I—“

“Oh, no,” Keith said, “The pickup line was terrible,” The boy visibly deflated, “But, if you’re willing, I’d like to get your help with something.”

The boy lowered his sunglasses, fixing Keith with a curious stare. 

 

“Mkay, he’s around the corner,” Keith said, opening his top few shirt buttons, “Do I look alright?”

“You look like you’ve been making out like a pro,” The boy, Lance, said, sitting on Keith’s bed. Lance was equally disheveled, “Now come on over here, babe.” 

Keith scowled at the nickname, “Don’t call me that.” Despite that, he sat on the bed with Lance, “You’re not…actually going to kiss me, are you?”

Lance smirked, “Eh, don’t worry. I can do a pretend kiss, come here,” Lance angled Keith’s back to the door. He cupped Keith’s face in his hands, making Keith’s heart race. Look, he was a healthy young boy, and Lance was attractive, okay? “Prepare for the performance of a lifetime babe.”

Lance put his thumbs over Keith’s mouth and kissed them. It was still far too close to kissing for Keith’s blood pressure, but it made Keith give a convincing squeak as the door to his room opened. 

Lance broke apart with a sound like a toilet plunger, removing his thumbs from Keith’s mouth and leaving him honestly breathless. 

He turned to the door, enjoying the sight of Shiro, frozen in shock. “Oh…Shiro…” Keith panted, “You’re back already?”

“Uh…” Shiro stammered, looking between Lance and Keith, “Uh…Keith…” He said, face still frozen, “Who’s this?” 

Keith swallowed, looking back at Lance. Lance helped, giving a nervous giggle, “Uh, well,” Keith said, giggling too. It felt weird, “This is…Lance.”

Lance held Keith’s hands, leaning his head in to nuzzle against Keith’s. Keith flinched at the unfamiliar contact for just a moment, before remembering himself and nuzzling back. 

“Uh-huh…” Shiro said, looking like he needed a check to make sure he didn’t walk into an alternate reality, “And…what is he doing here?”

“Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Shirogane, sir,” Lance said, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders, “My intentions toward your brother are pure, I assure you.” Lance gently held Keith’s chin, pulling his gaze toward himself. Keith did his best to look lovestruck. “When I saw Keith up on the lido deck, the sea wind guiding me toward him like destiny…the heavens aligned and something clicked in my brain. Call it cupid’s arrow or whatever you want, but I knew he was the one for me.”

Now, truthfully, Keith kinda wanted to gag after that soppish love story. At the least he wanted to laugh at the thick performance Lance was giving. But, he had to sell this to Shiro so he sighed dramatically, “Oh, Lance…” He buried his face in Lance’s neck to keep from laughing. 

Lance hugged him tighter, more expert at keeping his face straight. “And besides, sir, I strictly believe in sex after marriage. Which is why,” Lance nudged Keith to lift his face. Keith did so, looking back at Shiro, “I’d like to ask for your blessing.”

Keith was glad he looked up, so he could watch every drop of color drain out of Shiro’s face. He literally looked weak in the knees. Shiro opened his mouth a few times, trying to form words. “K-Keith?” He finally managed, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Keith was a little nervous. He wasn’t much of an actor, and was reluctant to be put on the spot, but he couldn’t find a reason not to, so he nodded and got up. Lance put on the finishing touch of grabbing Keith’s hands right before he left, kissing his knuckles tenderly. 

Keith kept his cheery smile on his face as he stepped out into the hallway, closing the door on Lance. 

Shiro took a deep breath, “I can’t believe it…you were right…Aliens do exist and they’ve kidnapped my baby brother…” 

Keith let himself giggle adorably in place of full out laughing at Shiro like he wanted, “Oh Shiro, are alien abductions really more believable than true love?” 

Shiro’s eye actually twitched, “Keith, I can’t believe you’re making me quote Frozen, but you can’t marry a man you just met.” 

Keith smiled “Shiro, when you’ve found the person you want to be with forever, you want forever to start right now.”

Shiro’s hair was becoming disheveled, “You did not just mangle a ‘When Harry met Sally’ quote at me. You hate that movie.”

Keith giggled again to stop himself laughing. He was waiting for Shiro to say ‘this is a joke, right?’ And Keith could pull the wool over his eyes. But he wasn’t saying it, “The point is, now you don’t have to worry about me being all alone, ‘cause I’ll be married. I’ll be with Lance now.”

“Is that what this is about?” Shiro said, “Look, if you’re so worried about being alone, we can figure something out, you can stay behind with me if you want—“

“Oh my god,” Keith said, “No, Shiro, I’m not staying behind. Now just…be happy for me.”

Shiro bit his lip. “You know I’ll support you in anything, but—“

“Thanks!” Keith said, opening the door up, “Lance come on, we’ve got a wedding to plan.”

Lance shot up and hooked his arm around Keith’s, the both of them making lovey dovey eyes at each other and leaving a shell-shocked Shiro behind them. 

 

They made it up a deck before they burst out into laughter, “Did you see his face?”

“I thought he was going to blow a blood vessel!”

“And that speech you gave on true love?” Keith said, “Beautiful!”

“Not as great as you quoting ‘When Harry met Sally’ at him,” Lance said.

Keith chuckled, “You heard that?” Lance nodded, “I can’t believe him. I can’t believe he actually thinks I’d marry someone I just met!” his laughter died out, and he leans against the wall of the ship. “I can’t believe he ACTUALLY thinks I’d marry someone I just met…” Did he really think Keith was THAT irresponsible? Did he have no faith at all in Keith’s ability to go out on his own? Logically, of course Keith knew Shiro trusted him, but…there was that seed of doubt.

Lance’s own laughter died as Keith turned serious. “Well…” He said, “You know there’s only one thing we can do now, don’t you?” Lance kneeled down in front of Keith. Keith’s eyes went wide at the sight, “Keith…I don’t actually know your last name…”

“Kogane,” Keith supplied.

Lance nodded, “Keith Kogane, will you do me the honor of fake marrying me so we can annoy the hell out of your older brother?”

Keith felt his serious demeanor melting away as he looked down at Lance. He clutched his chest and said, “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

“I’m sorry, gentlemen, absolutely no one is allowed into the bridge.”

Lance and Keith slumped, but were not so easily discouraged from the mustachioed crewman who was blocking their path. “Please, Mr…Smythe?” Lance said reading his tag.

He sighed, “Coran is fine.”

“Please, Mr. Coran, we HAVE to talk to the captain!” Lance pleaded. 

“The captain is extremely busy,” Coran said, “And certainly doesn’t have time to drop everything every time a guest has a question. Now, if you have a problem I’m sure one of the cruise directors can help you.”

“No,” Keith said, “It has to be a ships captain. I think…” Keith turned to Lance, “It does have to be the ships captain, right?”

“I’m pretty sure,” Lance said, “I mean, I guess we could look it up to check…”

“What’s going on here?” They turned to see a woman with dark skin and white hair, looking down on them. 

Keith and Lance turned to each other, feeling guilty all of a sudden. Maybe it was just the way this woman glared at them “Uh…” Keith said, “We…we wanted to speak with the Captain.”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “I’m Captain Allura. What do you want?”

Lance and Keith swallowed, suddenly nervous. “Well, uh,” Lance said, “We want to get fake married.”

Allura stared at them in silent disapproval. “Mmhmm….” She said, judging them. 

“Please,” Keith said, “Look, my brother has been on my back about learning to be responsible. He doesn’t trust that I’m perfectly capable of handling myself on my own! So, we’reputting a prank on him.”

She nodded slowly, her face unreadable. “I saw you boarding…she said to him, “Is your brother the amputee with the white hair and the scar?”

Keith nodded, “Uh…yeah?”

The corners of Allura’s mouth perked up. “Would you introduce us?”

Keith was confused. Luckily, Lance was there to jump in, “Absolutely,” He said. 

Allura nodded, “I can meet you on the Lido deck at 7:00 to perform the fake ceremony.”

Keith and Lance broke into smiles, “Thank you!” Keith said. 

“Now get out of here, this is for crew only.” 

Keith and Lance had never scurried faster in their lives. 

 

“Okay, so, considering this is a fake elopement,” Lance said as he typed on his phone, “We don’t need any decorations or flowers or a reception or anything. We just need a few guests. Your brother, obviously, and I’ve got a couple of my friends here on the ship that’ll help out, I’ve called them up here. You’ll love them, Hunk and Pidge love doing these kinds of pranks. Now all we need is to find some rings.”

Keith smiled, watching Lance text his friends. “Why are you doing this?” He asked.

Lance looked up, “We need them for the ceremony! I’m thinking the cheaper the better, like ring pops or something.”

“No…” Keith said, resting on his side as he looked at Lance, “All of this I mean. I know why I’M doing all this, but you’re like…really invested in pretending to marry me.”

Lance is silent for a moment, finishing up his text, and Keith isn’t sure if that’s a cover or if he honestly was focusing and couldn’t answer. “I dunno…” He said, “It’s…fun, I guess. And you seem like a cool guy, so, like, I wanna help you out.”

Keith smirked, “You’re…different than I first thought.”

“I hope that means in a good way,” Lance said.

“Oh definitely.” Keith said, “I thought you were an obnoxious douche at first.”

Lance clutched his heart dramatically, “Ow. I can’t believe I’m marrying you.”

Keith snorted, “Well, you did kinda start off with a bad pick up line.” 

“So, what, are you saying I should have started with the marriage proposal?”

Keith shrugged, “Maybe. It sort of worked, I guess.” He felt the tips of his ears grow just a touch warm. 

Lance smiled, “Well, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” 

“Next time you hit on a stranger on a boat?” Keith asked. 

Lance shrugged. “Or something.” Keith chuckled. Were they…were they flirting? “Now, come on,” Lance said, “We’ve got ring pops to buy.” 

 

At 7, they had a small gathering up on the Lido deck. Hunk and Pidge had been introduced to Keith and were fully in on the plan, Hunk playing the role of Lance’s best man, while Pidge was the ring bearer. They managed to find a red and blue ring pop, one for each of them. 

Shiro had found a metal chair and collapsed in it, refusing to speak with anyone. He seemed defeated, and a little sad. Keith would have felt sorry if it weren’t for the fact he was kind of mad that Shiro actually believed all of this. 

Allura came to join them, still in her captain’s uniform, and a small gathering of people had approached, curious at the wedding ceremony. “Alright,” She said, “Is everything ready?”

“Yes,” Lance and Keith said in unison, resuming their over-the-top cutesy demeanor. 

Allura nodded, side-eyeing Shiro in his chair. “Okay, then, if you would please join hands.”

Lance and Keith faced each other, holding hands. It was beginning to hurt to smile. 

“Dearly beloved,” Allura said, “We are gathered here today to join…I’m sorry, what were your names?” 

“Keith Kogane,”

“Lance McClain,” 

“Right,” Allura continued, “These two in holy matrimony. Before we begin, if anyone should have a reason as to why these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Shiro stood up, his head still hanging. Patiently, Keith waited for him to speak. 

Bless his heart, Shiro took out a paper from his jacket pocket. “Keith,” He recited from it, “You know I love you. I have looked after you for so long, and you know I’ll support you in whatever you do. But please,” He looked up, his lip quivering, “Please don’t go through with this. You can go away to college, go backpacking through Europe….get a tattoo and piercings for all I care, but please don’t go through with this wedding. This isn’t something to do on a whim, and I just…I’ll back off from pressuring you on everything, I promise. Just…please.”

Lance and Keith turned to each other, their overly cheerful smiles turning to proud smirks. Keith released Lance’s hands. “Okay.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. 

Shiro blinked at him. “W—what?”

“I guess I won’t get married right now.” Keith said, “If that’s okay with you,” He said to Lance. 

Lance shrugged as well, “Fine by me.”

Shiro’s eyes darted between them, “Okay what’s going on?”

“You honestly thought I was just going to marry some guy I just met.” Keith said, raising his eyebrow. “You honestly think I’m THAT irresponsible?”

Shiro blinked more, trying to clear his vision and make sure he wasn’t dreaming, “Uhhh…”

“It was a PRANK, Shiro.” Keith explained in small words as though he would to a child, “A joke to pay back for being all over me and smothering me all the goddamn time.”

Shiro perfected the deer in headlights look. Hunk and Pidge started snickering, as did Allura. “You all were in on it?” He said to the apparent strangers. 

Pidge shrugged, “It sounded like fun.”

Shiro frowned at them, not totally understanding, “So…you’re NOT getting married.”

Keith snorted, “No, I’m not. Might take you up on that freedom to get a tattoo, though.”

“Lets…” he said, sitting back in his chair, “Let me get over this heart attack before you add another one.” He took a deep breath, “So…I haven’t failed you as a parental figure?”

“Is that what you were worried about?” Keith asked. Shiro looked guilty in replacement of an answer, “Shiro, I’m FINE. I’ll be okay, even when I’m far away. And if I’m ever not, I know I can always call you for help.”

Shiro took a deep breath, “Okay,” He said, “Okay. I’m…I’m still going to worry about you, because its my job to. But…I’ll try and be a little less pushy about it.”

Keith smiled, “That’s all I ask.”

Shiro got up and gave his brother a hug. The surrounding crowd all went “Awww.”

Lance stepped forward, trying to step into the hug too, but Shiro pushed him away by his face.

“Hey guys,” Pidge cheered, interrupting the tender moment, “Who’s up for a not-wedding party on the fiesta deck!”

Everyone cheered and started heading out. “Oh, Shiro,” Keith said, dragging him over, “This is Captain Allura. She helped us out with all this.”

Shiro shook her hand, and Keith saw a blush on her cheeks, “I see. So I should be blaming YOU for all this.”

She chuckled, “Yes, well. I thought it was very noble of you, trying to step in and save your brother, back there.”

Shiro smiled as well, “If you don’t mind me asking, how does someone as young as you manage to become the captain of a cruise ship?”

“It’s a long story,” She said, with a sparkle in her eye. 

Shiro smiled back, “Mind telling me over a drink?” He offered her his arm.

On the verge of giggling, she accepted it, “Don’t mind if I do.”

Keith, meanwhile, was walking side by side with Lance. “So,” Lance said, “You’re going to college in the fall?” Keith nodded, “What school, if you don’t mind my asking.”

“I don’t mind,” Keith said, “Garrison Tech.”

Lance gaped at him, “You’re kidding,” Keith shook his head, “That’s where I’m going! Or, we’re going, Pidge, Hunk and I.”

Keith blinked, “Really?”

Lance nodded eagerly, “You’ll have to come hang out with us some time! That is…if you want to.”

Keith smiled and hid his blush to himself. “I’d like that.”

\----6 years later----

“You’re SURE this isn’t a joke again?”

“Oh my GOD Shiro, you’ve asked me like 5 times!”

“Okay, okay! Just, last time you were mad at me for not asking, so—“

“We’ve been dating for 6 years and have actually put preparation into it this time,” Keith said, adjusting his corsage. “It’s the real deal.” 

Shiro looked him up and down, tears in his eyes. “Don’t cry, Shiro,” Keith said. 

“I’m not!” Shiro obviously lied. “I just…God, you’re all grown up. I remember when you were just a kid.”

Keith smiled, “I’m not a kid anymore.”

Shiro gave a little shrug. “You’ll always be a kid to me.” He took a deep breath, “Mom and Dad would be so proud.”

Okay, that got to him, now Keith was tearing up. “Dammit, Shiro,” Keith said, desperately trying to wipe his eyes. Shiro couldn’t hold it in any longer, letting his own tears fall. 

A knock came at the door, and they both turned to Pidge. “We’re just about ready out here,” they said. Shiro and Keith nodded, composing themselves as best as they could. 

“Alright,” Keith said, “I’m ready.” 

“Okay,” Shiro said, “Just remember: The most important part of marriage is communication. You and Lance have to be partners in everything and—“

“Oh my GOD, Shiro,” Keith said, grabbing his brother’s hand and dragging him out to the hall before Shiro imparted any more wisdom. 

“Ungrateful brat.”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! my tumblr is dork-empress


End file.
